Stupid baby names...

I don't know what these kids' parents were thinking when they picked these names, forever scarring their offspring.

For one thing, why must parents always have to try to be clever and come up with alternate spellings of common names? I'm still waiting for someone to name their kid "Dhey'vidd". I think parents get a discount if they use an extra 'h', 'y', or apostrophe or change an 's' to a 'z' or a 'c' to a 'k'.

And then there's those names where you can't tell if the kid is a girl or a boy. Think Mike Myers as "Pat" from the old Saturday Night Live.

Of course there's those parents who force their daughters into a lifetime of exotic dancing.

This list was pulled from the Beautiful Babies website on Fox 59:

Saphyra
Dawson (no last names, please!!!)
Trevin
Carlie
Kielle
Talitha
Laella (I wonder if she will like paella)
Zara (Has anyone named their kid ‘Old Navy’ or ‘Hollister’ yet?)
Brayden (‘den’ #1)
Hayden (‘den’ #2)
Caiden (‘den’ #3)
Braden (‘den’ #4
Jayden (‘den’ #5)
Jaden (does this count as ‘den’ #6 or is this just an alternate spelling of ‘Jayden’?)
Jackson
Maya
Hussain (not to be confused with Hussein)
Payton (NOT a girl’s name…it’s not even a first name)
Peyton (not any better when spelled like an NFL QB)
Rheyin
Tannyr
Emerson
Rashaan
Ronan
Hunter (in the end there can be only one…)
Zaire (what, Zimbabwe was taken?)
Mikayla (alternate ‘Michaela’ #1)
Makayla (alternate ‘Michaela’ #2)
Italianna (I wonder if her mom ordered the Chicken Italiana at Olive Garden the night the magic happened)
Balian
Brielle
Kassie
Cheyenne (stripper alert!)
Serenity (stripper #2)
Madyson (stripper #3 with the bonus of an alternate spelling)
Destiny (stripper #4)
Brittany and Trinity (stripper twins!!)
Violet Skye (porn star alert!)
Anastasia
Sadie
Taylor (girl or boy? No one knows…)
Carmella (I think they were expecting a boy who would play basketball and fund their retirement…Carmelo?)
Ariyana (ana #1)
Elyana (ana #2)
Marianna (ana #3)
Carma (karma anyone?)
Amara
Katelynn (how many alternate spellings of ‘Caitlin’ can there possibly be?)
Jaelynn (lynn #2)
Caiylen
Jayce
Kira
Azriel (not quite Gargamel’s evil cat from Smurfs fame, but close…)
Rylan
Karlee
Artquan
Brice
Amira
Celia
Mason (cursed to memorize secret handshakes and passwords for the rest of his life)
Matilda (were Helga and Hilda already taken?)
Ryleigh (first of all ‘Riley’ was already a stupid name for a girl…did they really have to go with an alternate spelling?
Adelynn
Alexzandra
Tristan (someone likes “Legends of the Fall” way too much)
Dayton
Addison
Samirra
Ryder
Lilah
Kia (parents apparently didn’t like ‘Hyundai’)
Quinya
Maddox
Alanah
Zaylin
Gage
Marquiz (I assume this is pronounced ‘Marcos’)
Sarai
Ariyah
Jamir
Nicci
Gibson (I hope he’s named after the guitar or the baseball player…not the lunatic anti-Semitic actor/director)
Loghan
Kameron (I love when ‘C’ becomes ‘K’)
Kamryn (alternate spelling Cameron #2)
Camren (alternate spelling Cameron #3)
Ma’Tazia (oh the lovely apostrophe and capitalization in the middle…)
Kayli
Kiera
Torrance
Trevin, Brodin, Gavin (the ‘in’ triplets)
O’Niah (the Irish apostrophe!)
Ambria
Summer (why are the other seasons so ill-represented?)

And last, but not least, the 49th leader of the free world:
Preza’dent

Poor Aggies...

This pretty much sums up how hilarious I think Texas A&M is.

Twitter

Reading about how Twitter is too big. I think it's lame. What's the deal with posting every mind-numbingly boring detail of one's life?

Who cares that you had the most amazing eggs benedict this morning at Cracker Barrel?

Has anyone been to Put-in-Bay?

I've been there once and it was a blast. The Florida Keys of the Midwest...

http://www.putinbayonline.com

Somnoplasty

Recovering from my somnoplasty last Tuesday. I underwent the procedure at the behest of my mate to reduce my snoring. Feels like a bad sore throat right now (treating w/Tylenol and a Ricola!). 2 nights ago was the worst. Woke up several times gagging on my own, enlarged, uvula. Last night much better.

2/2 y girl, Dezzie, and my sis. Hope Dez doesn't bonk...

1/2 It's snowy here in Chicago. Headed up to Devil's Head to hit the slopes. For once I'll actually hit some fresh powder.
Going w/ m

My first emailed blog entry...how exciting...

Multimedia message

At work with a brand spanking new haircut...I feel so corporate...

My first mobile blog post...

First Day

This is the #1 post on this awesome blog...